between lies and orgasm

trying to cover up my mistakes but

can't seem to see the difference of what

the truth is from dreams.

i thought i had changed,

thought i am living a new life,

i thought i am now different.

am i?

by the way, just to clear up things,

i never loved you.

because we had an agreement, remember?

i just used you for my own fantasies.

and you needed my also.

everytime i am fuck you,

i get satisfied, yes.

but it doesn't mean anything.

you said you're falling for someone new?

so what?

i don't want to be so sharp with words,

because we had our "good times" together

though.

specially in bed.

i loved it when you swallow.

also loved it each time i run my fingers

through your body,

and everytime i get to touch

your breasts.

don't deny.

i have seen how you reacted

with pleasure and satisfaction.

but, everything has to end.

i don't want to play another role

of a stupid guy who just wants sex.

i need to be a husband.

i want to be a father.

i will be a family man.

but not with you.