from the cradle to the grave

it was the beginning of the end
when i realized that it has to wait,
pain and pleasure are the same,
it gave me freedom and slavery.

i was hanging on to the moment,
been left there for dead by people
whom i thought were good ones.

i got the impression i am alone,
and i try to tell them to leave me
for i don't need anyone of them,
but they just don't listen.

and it is a stupid thing that i did,
i kept on trusting people and
getting hurt by being played upon.
i trusted and was left to die,
where are those so-called friends?

© 2007, [soulprojekt]

prodigal son [proverbs from the ashes]

forgive me my God,
i have sinned again,
i have fallen short
to what You expect of me.
my life has been misled.

on what i thought
is impossible, to You,
it is possible.

i had been so fool
to believe that i am
someone in Your court,
when You never even noticed
me on this planet.

from the cradle
to the grave,
i crave for death to fall
on me.
but You have forbidden it,
letting me suffer more.

i apologize...


© 2007, [soulprojekt]

song of misery (ballad of a fallen angel)

night has came once more,
and again darkness surrounded me,
when all i thought all has faded,
my conscience drags me away.

midnight is here with me,
and i am playing my dark sonata,
i am an angel who was thrown out,
because i hid among the devils ground.

those i trusted betrayed me,
and those i loved forsaken me,
the revival of the fallen angel arouse,
death has given me breath again.

my God where arth Thou?
do you really not love me anymore?
why did i have to re-lived those times,
when i am your chief-of-angels?

i am longing to be forgiven,
but ire is taking me somewhere,
and i want to be forgotten,
i want to live my life when i die.

© 2004, [soulprojekt]

tears

was there a time you saw the good in me?
was there a place where you put me in pedestal?
where are you when i was broken?
when was the last time you asked how i am?
you're so busy with yourself you forgotten me!
i was here all alone in my sanctuary,
letting these tears fall down,
and yet you did not noticed it!
you told me you'll comfort me,
but did it ever occured to you that
this is the time i needed your company?
you lied to me!

© 2005, [soulprojekt]

struggles...

words cannot be written here. i am so full of it but i cannot write it down because it would reveal too much of me.

i thought i have learned

i am expecting one of the worst scenarios in my life, SUSPENSION from work. i made a stupid mistake by letting someone use my network id to gain access to one of the pc's in the office. then, they got caught. by whom? by the Operations Manager. yes, BIG TIME. well, suspension aint that bad. the worst could be termination from work. and thank God it didnt happened. whew, what a bad thing to do. and it's my fault also. i just have to admit it. and one of the most favorite tags right now near my station is "shit happens...". and they come in groups. oh boy, i think i just have to wait and see. suspension, here i come.

my love [my ode to a butterfly]

in my dreams im holding you
close to my heart,
and i tried to calm your anger
before you hurt yourself and me.

i have sacrificed myself in pain
so that you wont see and feel
the hatred that i am carrying
and harbours deep within me.

i am that one who hides in the rain
and covers the smile in the dark.

the threat of the fallen angel
has become so great for me,
and my heart has betrayed me,
i had fallen in love with sorrow.

can't breathe, can't speak, can't see,
how stupid can a man like me be?

© 2007, [soulprojekt]