A Filipino who sacrificed his life during the onslaught of tropical storm Ondoy (Ketsana) in September was named among TIME Magazine’s Top 10 heroes this year.
The international publication recognized the selflessness of 18-year-old Muelmar Magallanes, who braved raging currents, helping bring neighbors and relatives to safer ground when record rainfall submerged three-fourths of the Philippine capital.
“By the time the storm had unleashed its full fury, bringing the worst rains the region had seen in more than 40 years, Magallanes had changed the lives of dozens of family members and neighbors – and lost his own," TIME said on its Web site.
Barangay Bagong Silangan in Quezon City was among the worst-hit communities in the metropolis when Ondoy ravaged vast swaths in Luzon on September 26.
Magallanes, said to be a strong swimmer, rescued about 30 people but was unable to save himself.
While trying to save other neighbors, a wall collapsed on him and a television set fell on his head, killing him instantly.
Ondoy may have killed hundreds, displaced thousands of families, and destroyed thousands of homes.
But Magallanes and several other faceless heroes show that tragedy cannot dampen Filipinos’ resilience and bravery.
Just last month, CNN hailed Filipino Efren Peñaflorida for pioneering the mobile pushcart classrooms to bring education to impoverished children in Cavite, providing an alternative to gang wars prevalent in the communities.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Typhoon Pepeng hits RP… Bloggers Called to Action! By: Amiel Aguilar Cabanlig
While the blogosphere has been abuzz the past few days with those who would seek to criticize and blame, now is not the time to point fingers! The time for accountability will come to pass in due course. Instead of using the Web to spread dissent during this critical time where people are still in need, let us all focus our online efforts to support the causes of those who wish to alleviate the pain and destruction left in Ondoy’s aftermath and prepare those for the stormy days ahead.
Even residents of Metro Manila have turned to social networking and blogging to help rescue neighbors and friends from the destructive onslaught of typhoon “Ondoy”. On the micro-blogging site Twitter, maps of areas where stranded victims have yet to be rescued became accessible. Others used their Facebook accounts to inform relatives and friends of their conditions, accessed from their offices, homes or through their mobile phones. Several helpful blogs such as PinoyBuzz, Pedestrian Observer, Barrio Siete and Filipino Voices, showed how the community could send donations to the Philippines National Red Cross.
Super-Typhoon Pepeng is just around the corner and we implore bloggers to stop the bickering and unite in helping our fellowmen. According to the Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical & Astronomical Services Administration (PAGASA), at 4:00 a.m. today, super typhoon "PEPENG" was estimated based on satellite and surface data at 650 kms East of Borongan, Eastern Samar (11.5°N, 132.1°E) with maximum sustained winds of up to 185 kph.
Even residents of Metro Manila have turned to social networking and blogging to help rescue neighbors and friends from the destructive onslaught of typhoon “Ondoy”. On the micro-blogging site Twitter, maps of areas where stranded victims have yet to be rescued became accessible. Others used their Facebook accounts to inform relatives and friends of their conditions, accessed from their offices, homes or through their mobile phones. Several helpful blogs such as PinoyBuzz, Pedestrian Observer, Barrio Siete and Filipino Voices, showed how the community could send donations to the Philippines National Red Cross.
Super-Typhoon Pepeng is just around the corner and we implore bloggers to stop the bickering and unite in helping our fellowmen. According to the Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical & Astronomical Services Administration (PAGASA), at 4:00 a.m. today, super typhoon "PEPENG" was estimated based on satellite and surface data at 650 kms East of Borongan, Eastern Samar (11.5°N, 132.1°E) with maximum sustained winds of up to 185 kph.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
24 hours in the office
this is the FIRST TIME. first time that i had to spend 24 hours of my life inside the office. i was not forced by the management to do so, but the weather forced me to. according to the news from gmanews.tv, "Television news footage showed one flooded road in suburban Quezon City appearing like a raging river. The storm intensified the seasonal monsoon, drenching much of the main island of Luzon where Manila is located, weathermen said.". i tried going someplace earlier this morning after my shift and my, oh my, water is FAST RISING ALREADY! i had to go back to the office to rest and just be sure i will be safe, and sure enough, I, along with other Dell employees. after some time, we had been given sleeping bags and food coupon.
and before the night is done, some of the people here already went home due to their own personal reasons, and i hope they do make it because i read in Definitely Filipino that "Don't pass by Buendia from Ayala towards Taft/Roxas Blvd. Traffic is not moving.... Everybody's jammed. Flooded areas are Makro, Dela Rosa, Pasong Tamo areas". this is really hard.
i just would like to ask everyone, PLEASE PRAY FOR THE FAMILIES WHO ARE AFFECTED BY THE FLOODS.
just to give you an idea, i found this on youtube.
and before the night is done, some of the people here already went home due to their own personal reasons, and i hope they do make it because i read in Definitely Filipino that "Don't pass by Buendia from Ayala towards Taft/Roxas Blvd. Traffic is not moving.... Everybody's jammed. Flooded areas are Makro, Dela Rosa, Pasong Tamo areas". this is really hard.
i just would like to ask everyone, PLEASE PRAY FOR THE FAMILIES WHO ARE AFFECTED BY THE FLOODS.
just to give you an idea, i found this on youtube.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Mafia Wars Moscow: Exclusive First Look!
i have been playing the Mafia Wars at Facebook. and i would have to say that i am impressed at the Moscow plot. currently, there are two cities involved in the Mafia Wars, New York and Cuba. Cuba is, i might say, better than New York. but of course, Moscow will be better. a quick look at Moscow was on a blog i found. it is very nice!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Willie Revillame for Senator!?!?!
while i was so frustrated and so undecided, i heard on the news that Sen. Manny Villar said that "Willie (Revillame is "QUALIFIED" to be a Senator of this country?!").
here is the complete i found at abs-cbnnews.com:
here is the complete i found at abs-cbnnews.com:
"MANILA - The Nacionalista Party (NP) will reserve a slot in its senatorial ticket for Wowowee host Willie Revillame if he decides to run for the Senate.
In a press conference on Friday, Senator Manuel Villar, president of the NP, said that if Revillame is willing to run for the Senate, he will reserve a slot for him.
"Oo, naman, very qualified naman si Willie, wala naman akong nakikitang problema kay Willie," Villar said. "Yun ay isang bagay na dapat niyang pagisipan."
Villar visited Revillame in Tagaytay after he found out about the controversy involving Revillame's move to cut the live streaming of the late President Corazon Aquino's August 3 procession which was being shown simultaneously on Wowowee through an inset video.
Revillame's move irked many viewers and prompted him to go on indefinite leave from his popular entertainment show. Nearly 50,000 have expressed support for an online petition seeking Revillame's ouster from Wowowee.
Villar said that although he didn't get to watch that controversial Wowowee episode, he nonetheless wants to express his support for the popular host.
He said Revillame can play a big role in strengthening the NP, the country's oldest political party which Villar is rebuilding following years of poor party politics under its former leaders.
ABS-CBN News tried to reach Revillame for comment, but he declined to answer his phone, as of posting."
my gulay, what will happen to this country if someone like Willie Revillame will sit as a Senator? i mean, he has this rudeness on tv, he has a bad mouth, a cry-baby, and he's already someone not even worthy to have a tv show and Manny Villar is thinking of taking him in to be a Senator!? what's he up to?! popularity?!
and here's more, an online petition calling for Revillame’s ouster has gathered nearly 50,000 signatures already; the Movie and Television Review and Classification Board has filed a complaint and called for the preventive suspension of Revillame; Facebook users have launched the Anti Willie Revillame Movement Facebook Group; and different organizations like the Alyansa ng Filipinong Mamamahayag have issued statements against Revillame, and somehow all this convinced Villar that Revillame should run for senator?
Monday, August 10, 2009
‘Wowowee’ suspended
The Movie and Television Review and Classification Board (MTRCB) has ordered the suspension of the noontime game show “Wowowee” for violation of its Implementing Rules and Regulations.
The controversial show on the Kapamilya network will be suspended for three episodes, according to an MTRCB decision signed by a three-member adjudication committee on June 5.
“Considering the numerous reprimands ABS-CBN has been meted in prior violations, coupled with the seriousness of the incident at hand, the committee views that [the] suspension would likely be the appropriate penalty,” the decision said.
No suspension date had been set as of press time. The decision was signed by adjudication committee members Mark Fabian Castrodes, Edmund Sicam and chair Paulino Cases.
Sudden exposure
The committee members referred to the May 12 episode, where artist Eda Nolan “suddenly” exposed a breast while dancing. Nolan, one of the cast members of the youth-oriented show “Gokada Go” on Studio 23, wore a tube dress for the number.
A position paper the network submitted to the Board denied any “actual exposure of the talent’s breast, accidental or otherwise.” It argued that “only the top portion of Nolan’s flesh-colored bra was exposed.”
But according to the decision, a review of the video tape of the incident showed “there was indeed indecent exposure.”
ABS-CBN received another warning from the Board for “offensive remarks” made by the show’s host, Willie Revillame, in the May 26 episode.
While introducing dancer Luningning during the “Pasalog” segment, Willie said “heto na ang gamot sa malalambot.”
MTRCB chair Marissa Laguardia ordered network officials to meet with the Hearing and Adjudication Committee on June 5.
The controversial show on the Kapamilya network will be suspended for three episodes, according to an MTRCB decision signed by a three-member adjudication committee on June 5.
“Considering the numerous reprimands ABS-CBN has been meted in prior violations, coupled with the seriousness of the incident at hand, the committee views that [the] suspension would likely be the appropriate penalty,” the decision said.
No suspension date had been set as of press time. The decision was signed by adjudication committee members Mark Fabian Castrodes, Edmund Sicam and chair Paulino Cases.
Sudden exposure
The committee members referred to the May 12 episode, where artist Eda Nolan “suddenly” exposed a breast while dancing. Nolan, one of the cast members of the youth-oriented show “Gokada Go” on Studio 23, wore a tube dress for the number.
A position paper the network submitted to the Board denied any “actual exposure of the talent’s breast, accidental or otherwise.” It argued that “only the top portion of Nolan’s flesh-colored bra was exposed.”
But according to the decision, a review of the video tape of the incident showed “there was indeed indecent exposure.”
ABS-CBN received another warning from the Board for “offensive remarks” made by the show’s host, Willie Revillame, in the May 26 episode.
While introducing dancer Luningning during the “Pasalog” segment, Willie said “heto na ang gamot sa malalambot.”
MTRCB chair Marissa Laguardia ordered network officials to meet with the Hearing and Adjudication Committee on June 5.
Friday, August 7, 2009
OUST Willie Revillame petition
i am not a Kapamilya, and may never will. and i have read and watched several Willie Revillame's scandalous, lousy, and rude comments shown on youtube and it is a shame on ABS-CBN to have a talent on their station with that kind of attitude. upon watching how this lowlife SOB reacted, i was enraged. upon learning of this link that is petitioning to oust this SOB, i quickly signed on it. not because i hate that, that ... him, but, his reactions' just plain proof that he is not worthy to be a host.
If you believe that ABS-CBN should take action and chastise Willie Revillame for his crude, crass, and embarassing behaviour on air... Sign the Oust Willie petition!
If you believe that ABS-CBN should take action and chastise Willie Revillame for his crude, crass, and embarassing behaviour on air... Sign the Oust Willie petition!
Here's the petition:
To: ABS CBN Management, MTRCB and PANATo Whom It May Concern:
I am an avid viewer of ABS CBN and I am very well up-to-date regarding their shows. Without any doubt, I am a Kapamilya. However, last August 03, 2009, an incident happened when Wowowee Host Willie Revillame blurted out comments when a video of Pres. Cory's cortege appeared on the screen.
While a contestant was dancing for the talent portion, a snippet of Pres. Cory Aquino's cortege was shown on the screen. But Willie did not cut short the dancing portion. Instead, he let the contestant finish her routine. After that, he blurted out comments regarding the video of Pre. Cory's cortege. He said:
"Kung ganyan, pakita na lang natin 'yan. Kasi nagsasaya kami dito, tapos... Masakit sa akin 'yan, e. Nagsasalita ako dito... 'yan, please. Sana maintindihan n'yo. Nagsasaya kami dito, papakita n'yo sa amin yun ang... di ba? Hindi tama, e. Okey? Hindi ba?"
"Pangit! Hindi ho maganda sa atin. Nagsasalita, ipinapakita yung kabaong ni Tita Cory, hindi ba? Papano kami makapagsasaya, nahihirapan kami? I'm sorry ho, ha. Pero ako, totoo ako, e. 'Wag n'yo akong pagagalitan, kasi totoo ang gusto kong malaman...
"Pagkatapos ng show, ipakita n'yo ang gusto n'yong palabas. Kasi itong Wowowee, gusto ko... Hindi ba, at alam din ni Tita Cory 'yan dahil napasaya rin siya ng show na ito na laging masaya dito, ok?"
Some may argue that Willie's intention was good, but I rather find these statements rude and arrogant. Wowowee and Revillame is known by millions of Filipino viewers and the show is even watched across several countries through TFC. To react in such way is downright arrogant and disrespectful to the former President Corzaon Aquino. I know that it was a bad taste for ABS-CBN to show a snippet of the funeral on Wowowee, but it was worst for Revillame to react that way.
Willie have chosen to let the contestant dance instead of cutting short her act and give way to the coverage of the cortege. Willie have chosen to blurt out his rude comments ON-AIR instead of Off-cam. In short, Willie have chosen to have fun instead of giving way to the funeral of Pres. Corazon Aquino. So they'd rather have fun instead of pay our respects to our democracy icon? That was not a good example to our youth today.
Was it really hard for him to be humble and human? I believe that this is not the first time that he aired his views and rather arrogant comments On-air. He embarasses his staff, makes fun of the contestants, and arrogantly act on TV almost everyday. Pres. Aquino taught us humility, and Revillame is showing us the exact opposite: arrogance.
This time, Willie's statement should be condemed not only by the public, but by the management of ABS-CBN as well. It also creates a public outrage in the internet forums, chatting boards, and online-newspapers. Majority have negative reactions and have condemned Willie Revillame's brutal statements.
With this, I am calling the attention of the management of ABS-CBN to stop the “arrogant act� of Willie Revillame on National TV program and reprimand him because of his actions. Willie Revillame had been very disrespectful to the Pres. Cory Aquino's cortege, Filipinos icon of democracy. It was also worst for your company that your own employee criticize you on national television instead on off the air conversations.
I am calling the attention of the MTRCB to be more vigilant, so that this lowest form of personal attack by a tv showbiz talk show host, for her/his personal agenda, will not happen again
I am calling the PANA to stop supporting Wowowee until they axe or reprimand Willie Revillame due to his actions. With him as one of the hosts, your product does not project a positive image to the public.
The public and TFC subscribers deserve better programming, and we deserve better than the likes of Willie Revillame.
Sincerely,
The Undersigned
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Dell treats
just watched the Transformers 2 movie at Eastwood Cinema, and i liked it. well, loved it. it was made possible because Dell is encouraging its employees to balance work and life. last year, we were treated to The Dark Knight and now, Transformers 2: Rise of the Fallen. the movie itself got me a bit confused because Megatron has a master who wants the leadership matrix for his own. on the cartoon story, the one who wants the matrix was Unicron. a gigantic robot who fears nothing and eats every existing planet that he passes around. but in the Transformers 2, it was the Fallen who wants the matrix to destroy earth's sun. nevertheless, the stars was Sam and Mikaela. i love Mikaela, especially when she was on that bike, painting. oh la la...
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
what began...
what began as an affair, turned into a relationship.
what began as a pursue of lust, plain and simple,
turned a man from being schizophrenic to a mellow guy...
what began as moans of pleasure,
turned into words of love and loyalty...
from those nights of endless tears and agony,
there began a person who became a player,
from tears of unfulfilled love and honesty,
sprout the demon he became.
what began as a pursue of "no strings attached",
bloomed a love that he preferred to keep.
what began then,
is now something new.
what began as a pursue of lust, plain and simple,
turned a man from being schizophrenic to a mellow guy...
what began as moans of pleasure,
turned into words of love and loyalty...
from those nights of endless tears and agony,
there began a person who became a player,
from tears of unfulfilled love and honesty,
sprout the demon he became.
what began as a pursue of "no strings attached",
bloomed a love that he preferred to keep.
what began then,
is now something new.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
2 movies to watch for...
these are the two movies to watch out for:
the first is Transformers 2: Rise of the Fallen
the second is G. I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
the first is Transformers 2: Rise of the Fallen
the second is G. I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Ako Mismo
there is a new commercial campaign sa tv. nakakagulat kasi, no politician was present and it is not for any politician. ang title ng campaign, AKO MISMO. nakakatuwa kasi, it is about doing our part, my part sa bayan. anong magagawa mo sa bayan? nagpunta agad ako sa internet shop at nag-register sa akomismo.org. natuwa ako kasi, finally, may naka-realize na na walang mangyayari sa bansang ito kung panay reklamo, panay batuhan ng putik, panay politika.
yan yung video nila sa tv. sana, maraming mag-register na may gagawin sana. ang nilagay ko dun, "boboto ako at di ibebenta ang boto.". para may dating. at di ko naman talaga binebenta boto ko.
yan yung video nila sa tv. sana, maraming mag-register na may gagawin sana. ang nilagay ko dun, "boboto ako at di ibebenta ang boto.". para may dating. at di ko naman talaga binebenta boto ko.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Dell memories
this video is for my former teammates and former co-workers at Dell. the song is from Fuel.
Friday, April 10, 2009
why is Good Friday called "GOOD"?
i read this line a few years ago. it caught me by surprise because it was by Peanuts. i then learned that Charles M. Schulz, the maker of Peanuts "eared in the Lutheran faith, had been active in the Church of God (Anderson) as a young adult and then later taught Sunday school at a United Methodist Church", according to Wikipedia. one of the books that i am really looking forward owning is the The Gospel According to Peanuts. The Gospel According to Peanuts is a best-selling 1965 book written by Presbyterian minister Robert L. Short about Charles M. Schulz's popular comic strip, Peanuts. The book is based on Short's use of the Peanuts characters to illustrate his lectures about the Christian Gospel. A sequel, The Parables of Peanuts, was written by Short in 1968.
now, why is Good Friday called "GOOD"? well, i have been trying to find that strip for months now and i still can't find it. anyways, this will be mine to say. why is Good Friday called "GOOD"? because Jesus died on the cross. He just not stretched His arms on the cross, He bled to death. it was the worst kind of death at that time. Jesus died for me. for you. for us.
when Snoopy was asked by Woodstock, "why is Good Friday called "GOOD"?". there was a simple answer Snoopy gave. "ask the man on the cross...".
now, why is Good Friday called "GOOD"? well, i have been trying to find that strip for months now and i still can't find it. anyways, this will be mine to say. why is Good Friday called "GOOD"? because Jesus died on the cross. He just not stretched His arms on the cross, He bled to death. it was the worst kind of death at that time. Jesus died for me. for you. for us.
when Snoopy was asked by Woodstock, "why is Good Friday called "GOOD"?". there was a simple answer Snoopy gave. "ask the man on the cross...".
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Chip Tsao... another foreigner lashes Pinoys
This was an excerpt of what Chip Tso has published on HK Magazine...
The War at Home
By Chip Tsao
The Russians sank a Hong Kong freighter last month, killing the seven Chinese seamen onboard. We can live with that-—Lenin and Stalin were once the ideological mentors of all Chinese people. The Japanese planted a flag on Diàoyú Island. That's no big problem-—we Hong Kong Chinese love Japanese cartoons, Hello Kitty, and shopping in Shinjuku, let alone our round-the-clock obsession with karaoke.
But hold on-—even the Filipinos? Manila has just claimed sovereignty over the scattered rocks in the South China Sea called the Spratly Islands, complete with a blatant threat from its congress to send gunboats to the South China Sea to defend the islands from China if necessary. This is beyond reproach. The reason: There are more than 130,000 Filipina maids working as HK$3,580-a-month cheap labor in Hong Kong. As a nation of servants, you don't flex your muscles at your master, from whom you earn most of your bread and butter.
As a patriotic Chinese man, the news has made my blood boil. I summoned Louisa, my domestic assistant who holds a degree in international politics from the University of Manila, hung a map on the wall, and gave her a harsh lecture. I sternly warned her that if she wants her wages increased next year, she had better tell everyone of her compatriots in Statue Square on Sunday that the entirety of the Spratly Islands belongs to China.
Grimly, I told her that if war breaks out between the Philippines and China, I would have to end her employment and send her straight home, because I would not risk the crime of treason for sponsoring an enemy of the state by paying her to wash my toilet and clean my windows 16 hours a day. With that money, she would pay taxes to her Government, and they would fund a navy to invade our motherland and deeply hurt my feelings.
Oh yes. The Government of the Philippines would certainly be wrong if they think we Chinese are prepared to swallow their insult and sit back and lose a Falkland Islands War in the Far East. They may have Barack Obama and the hawkish American military behind them, but we have a hostage in each of our homes in the Mid-Levels or higher. Some of my friends told me they have already declared a state of emergency at home. Their maids have been made to shout 'China, Madam/Sir' loudly whenever they hear the word "Spratly". They say the indoctrination is working as wonderfully as when we used to shout, "Long live Chairman Mao!" at the sight of a portrait of our Great Leader during the Cultural Revolution. I’m not sure if that's going a bit too far, at least for the time being.
-----
who the heck does this guy think he is!? and why did he calls their land our "MASTER" and we're their "SERVANTS"? this guy thinks that he is more superior than us. that is racism. he is a racist. this guy seems not to know that their "servants" are the ones doing their work for them and that these people are the ones making their lives easier and more productive. i heard he already made a public apology. but he did not appeared on tv, instead, file photos were used. if he is sincere, he better FACE the camera and ask... no, BEG for an apology for the people he slanders with words that he can't even comprehend.
The War at Home
By Chip Tsao
The Russians sank a Hong Kong freighter last month, killing the seven Chinese seamen onboard. We can live with that-—Lenin and Stalin were once the ideological mentors of all Chinese people. The Japanese planted a flag on Diàoyú Island. That's no big problem-—we Hong Kong Chinese love Japanese cartoons, Hello Kitty, and shopping in Shinjuku, let alone our round-the-clock obsession with karaoke.
But hold on-—even the Filipinos? Manila has just claimed sovereignty over the scattered rocks in the South China Sea called the Spratly Islands, complete with a blatant threat from its congress to send gunboats to the South China Sea to defend the islands from China if necessary. This is beyond reproach. The reason: There are more than 130,000 Filipina maids working as HK$3,580-a-month cheap labor in Hong Kong. As a nation of servants, you don't flex your muscles at your master, from whom you earn most of your bread and butter.
As a patriotic Chinese man, the news has made my blood boil. I summoned Louisa, my domestic assistant who holds a degree in international politics from the University of Manila, hung a map on the wall, and gave her a harsh lecture. I sternly warned her that if she wants her wages increased next year, she had better tell everyone of her compatriots in Statue Square on Sunday that the entirety of the Spratly Islands belongs to China.
Grimly, I told her that if war breaks out between the Philippines and China, I would have to end her employment and send her straight home, because I would not risk the crime of treason for sponsoring an enemy of the state by paying her to wash my toilet and clean my windows 16 hours a day. With that money, she would pay taxes to her Government, and they would fund a navy to invade our motherland and deeply hurt my feelings.
Oh yes. The Government of the Philippines would certainly be wrong if they think we Chinese are prepared to swallow their insult and sit back and lose a Falkland Islands War in the Far East. They may have Barack Obama and the hawkish American military behind them, but we have a hostage in each of our homes in the Mid-Levels or higher. Some of my friends told me they have already declared a state of emergency at home. Their maids have been made to shout 'China, Madam/Sir' loudly whenever they hear the word "Spratly". They say the indoctrination is working as wonderfully as when we used to shout, "Long live Chairman Mao!" at the sight of a portrait of our Great Leader during the Cultural Revolution. I’m not sure if that's going a bit too far, at least for the time being.
-----
who the heck does this guy think he is!? and why did he calls their land our "MASTER" and we're their "SERVANTS"? this guy thinks that he is more superior than us. that is racism. he is a racist. this guy seems not to know that their "servants" are the ones doing their work for them and that these people are the ones making their lives easier and more productive. i heard he already made a public apology. but he did not appeared on tv, instead, file photos were used. if he is sincere, he better FACE the camera and ask... no, BEG for an apology for the people he slanders with words that he can't even comprehend.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
regrets about my kids
i regretted having my kids. why?
i regretted not having them with just ONE woman.
i regretted not being with them as they grow up.
i regretted that my kids aren't beside me everyday,
that at night, i cannot kiss them both before i leave for work.
that i cannot take them to school and being kissed
as they wave, "ingat ka po Tatay...".
i am so disappointed that i cannot play with them
as much as i wanted to.
that i am not there when they are playing,
falling down, crying and then me telling them,
"ok lang madapa anak. basta tumayo ka din.".
i am so in pain, that when someone tells them
that they're not worth it,
i will comfort them and tell them "KAYO ang pinakamahalaga sa akin."
then put the person who mocked my kids in GREAT TROUBLE.
i wanted my kids to know,
i wanted them to feel,
that THEY are PRECIOUS GIFTS FROM GOD ABOVE.
that i am humbled by them.
that even though i am a fallen angel,
God gave me them,
LUKAS EMMANUEL & MIKAELA EUNICE.
my kids....
MAHAL NA MAHAL KAYO NI TATAY.
© 2009, [soulprojekt]
i regretted not having them with just ONE woman.
i regretted not being with them as they grow up.
i regretted that my kids aren't beside me everyday,
that at night, i cannot kiss them both before i leave for work.
that i cannot take them to school and being kissed
as they wave, "ingat ka po Tatay...".
i am so disappointed that i cannot play with them
as much as i wanted to.
that i am not there when they are playing,
falling down, crying and then me telling them,
"ok lang madapa anak. basta tumayo ka din.".
i am so in pain, that when someone tells them
that they're not worth it,
i will comfort them and tell them "KAYO ang pinakamahalaga sa akin."
then put the person who mocked my kids in GREAT TROUBLE.
i wanted my kids to know,
i wanted them to feel,
that THEY are PRECIOUS GIFTS FROM GOD ABOVE.
that i am humbled by them.
that even though i am a fallen angel,
God gave me them,
LUKAS EMMANUEL & MIKAELA EUNICE.
my kids....
MAHAL NA MAHAL KAYO NI TATAY.
© 2009, [soulprojekt]
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Dell Pasay Sold
last friday, March 20, 2008, i have heard some rumor that Dell Pasay was sold to Teleperformance. i was so shock. i am at Dell QC and according to the blog i read, we are being negotiated to Accenture. i mean, why!? are they using the global financial crisis as the means to do this? i may not be from Pasay but then, i felt bad. it hurts that my company, somehow did this to us. my boss for the Care Department made some sudden meetings with us. he made it clear to us that our site is not on any negotiations with Accenture. it's fine by me. it was a sigh of relief. that was good... somehow. and also, i needed to believe in my company.
I AM DELL. until when? i don't know. it scares me. i have two kids, how am i supposed to support them and my brother as well if i lose this job? how will i pay my bills, my rent, and credits and all if i lose this job. these are some of the questions that are running to my head since friday last week...
to my colleagues at Dell Pasay, you will always be remembered.
I AM DELL. until when? i don't know. it scares me. i have two kids, how am i supposed to support them and my brother as well if i lose this job? how will i pay my bills, my rent, and credits and all if i lose this job. these are some of the questions that are running to my head since friday last week...
to my colleagues at Dell Pasay, you will always be remembered.
Monday, March 16, 2009
me and my princess...
last Sundayo Taytay, Rizal to visit Hazel and her family. it was her niece's 7th birthday. they celebrated the birthday with a party. it was also a chance for me to visit my daughter whom i have not seen since she was like 2 months old. finally i met her again. i was so excited, and i just can't hide it. from the moment i saw her, i took several pictures of her. one of the pictures i got made me feel sad. she won't look me in the eye. i felt the pain only a father feels when his kid seems not to recognize him. i felt rejected. it seems that she's making me feel, this early, the pain she feels in my absence to her. it's really weird but i really felt that she's communicating to me her pains. as i carried her in my arms, i whispered to her, "sorry na prinsesa, wag ka na magalit...". i asked her for forgiveness several times. but it seems that it fell on deaf ears. i was troubled. my heart sank within me. it broke my heart. i was so affected by her reactions to me that i couldn't eat. imagine being at a part where you could not eat because of how your kid treats you. i want to make it up with her, but she'll be going back to Samar this week. and i really hate it.
Monday, March 9, 2009
starting all over again...
i have been thru a lot. it's never easy to start rebuilding what your own hands destroyed. i always wanted to be a man after God's own heart. tough. been on the crossroads of my faith for nearly 10 years now. i guess i never really wanted to come home.
there are few things that i am very happy about.
first, i had been too lazy to get up in the morning to attend church, but yesterday was different. i attended a worship service by Victory Christian Fellowship at Robinsons Metro East, and it gave me a warm feeling like i have finally found a church where my faith can grow and where i can be "home". i never looked for a perfect church. i just want a church to call my home. i never attended their worship service before because of the distance. but now that they have put up a church in the Metro East side, i have attended one.
i am looking forward to attending more worship services with my new found church. and not only that, i also want to join their small groups and possibly, another ministry inside the church. then venture out with the plan God has for me...
the second part, this is where it gets interesting....
there are few things that i am very happy about.
first, i had been too lazy to get up in the morning to attend church, but yesterday was different. i attended a worship service by Victory Christian Fellowship at Robinsons Metro East, and it gave me a warm feeling like i have finally found a church where my faith can grow and where i can be "home". i never looked for a perfect church. i just want a church to call my home. i never attended their worship service before because of the distance. but now that they have put up a church in the Metro East side, i have attended one.
i am looking forward to attending more worship services with my new found church. and not only that, i also want to join their small groups and possibly, another ministry inside the church. then venture out with the plan God has for me...
the second part, this is where it gets interesting....
Friday, March 6, 2009
THE MAN FROM MANILA
FRANCIS M. aka, THE MAN FROM MANILA. ang masasabing pundasyon ng pinoy hiphop, hip-tal (hiphop and rock fusion), died March 6, 2009. it was announced at Eat Bulaga!. alam na naman ng lahat that eventually, it will happen. pero we never expected it to happen this early. my deepest condolences to the family of FrancisM.
i have come to love pinoy hiphop because of FrancisM. he taught a lot of pinoy rappers to respect one another, taught people to love this country, taught people how to dedicate oneself to what you love doing. i am not really into hip-hop music, but i like i said, i have learned to love pinoy hiphop because of FrancisM. thank you Sir.
i have come to love pinoy hiphop because of FrancisM. he taught a lot of pinoy rappers to respect one another, taught people to love this country, taught people how to dedicate oneself to what you love doing. i am not really into hip-hop music, but i like i said, i have learned to love pinoy hiphop because of FrancisM. thank you Sir.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
be still and know that I AM GOD...
this message was given to me by my mother a few months ago. i was on one of my lowest points in my life that time. i am becoming suicidal which was unusual because i am not. i am now, back to where i was before. suffering the consequences of the foolishness and stupidities that i have done.
i feel that i have failed my father, he wanted me to be a military man. he wanted me to go to PMA and be a military officer. which i failed to do. he then wanted me to study a four year course in college, which i also failed. i finished a vocational course. i failed my mother. she wanted me to be the son who will be assisting, helping her with my siblings. i failed. she wanted me to be a firm believer in Christ, which i failed. i failed my brother and sisters. i failed to be the kuya that they need me to be.
i failed my two beautiful kids. i failed because i have not secured a family for them. i am not becoming the father they need because i cannot provide them the assistance they need. financially, emotionally, etc. my daughter is in Samar with her mom. my son is in Taguig with her mom. i am with my brother on weekdays. and on weekends, i am alone.
i failed the mothers of my kids. i have been coward and wasn't as true as i have to be with them. i got them pregnant and fell short of the expectations set to me as a man. i run away from the responsibilities of being a father to my kids. yes, i failed to love my kid's moms. i failed to love one woman. and still falling short of what they're expecting of me.
my nephew who is 5 years old knows more than i do. yes, i failed him too. his father deserted him when he and my sister's marriage fell. he looked unto me and my younger brother as the father he never had. yet, i can't even give him anything now. not even a pencil case for his studies.
i failed. miserably. i failed so bad that i can't even get a promotion because i am scared. scared of the responsibilities that i will have to take. stupid because i can't face them. i even failed, my own self by not doing the best i can.
and yes, i failed the woman who trusted me for 6 years. she believed in me. she placed her trust, her love, her faith on me. and i failed her... now she has someone else in her life. i suck terribly that i am missing her so bad. i wanted to tell her that i am deeply sorry for what i have done. and that if she can give me another chance, i will be the happiest man on earth. good luck with that.
and finally, i failed my GOD. i know God has a lot of plans for me in my life. but then again, i had turned my back against Him. the only ONE who really ever loved me. i failed Him, big time! and i have been telling myself that God is not the one who decided for me, i am the one insisting my own stubbornness. i have been stubborn. i have been insisting on my own wants. not God.
and now, i found myself on this track where my suicidal tendencies are getting strong. before i left my apartment this evening, i am having those thoughts that says, "what if i get hit by a vehicle?". i was crying like a kid along the way. when i reached the church along the road, i am not a catholic by the way, i went inside the church. why? i cried. i sobbed like a drunken man. i poured out my heart and asked God why? but then again, i know the "why?" questions will not be answered.
i have been depressed these few years now, and i am suffering because of what i have done. i know nobody's to be blame but me. but this is not a blaming game. this is not what i have in mind.
i accidentally listened to a song by Hillsong entitled, STILL. it said, "i will be still and know you are God...". it caught my attention, i have played it again and again. i cried while listening to it, let me share the full lyrics to you. it is a short song, but powerful one.
STILL
hide me now
under Your wings
cover me
within Your mighty hand
when the oceans rise and thunders roar
i will soar with you above the storm
Father You are King over the flood
i will be still and know You are God
find rest my soul
in Christ alone
know His power
in quietness and trust
it brought me to my knees yes, but at the same time, it made say "be still my soul and know that God is above EVERYTHING.". yes, God is King over the flood. i may have been suffering, but then, God never really left me alone. i was just ignoring Him. and for now, i will put my trust to the One who knows me better.
i feel that i have failed my father, he wanted me to be a military man. he wanted me to go to PMA and be a military officer. which i failed to do. he then wanted me to study a four year course in college, which i also failed. i finished a vocational course. i failed my mother. she wanted me to be the son who will be assisting, helping her with my siblings. i failed. she wanted me to be a firm believer in Christ, which i failed. i failed my brother and sisters. i failed to be the kuya that they need me to be.
i failed my two beautiful kids. i failed because i have not secured a family for them. i am not becoming the father they need because i cannot provide them the assistance they need. financially, emotionally, etc. my daughter is in Samar with her mom. my son is in Taguig with her mom. i am with my brother on weekdays. and on weekends, i am alone.
i failed the mothers of my kids. i have been coward and wasn't as true as i have to be with them. i got them pregnant and fell short of the expectations set to me as a man. i run away from the responsibilities of being a father to my kids. yes, i failed to love my kid's moms. i failed to love one woman. and still falling short of what they're expecting of me.
my nephew who is 5 years old knows more than i do. yes, i failed him too. his father deserted him when he and my sister's marriage fell. he looked unto me and my younger brother as the father he never had. yet, i can't even give him anything now. not even a pencil case for his studies.
i failed. miserably. i failed so bad that i can't even get a promotion because i am scared. scared of the responsibilities that i will have to take. stupid because i can't face them. i even failed, my own self by not doing the best i can.
and yes, i failed the woman who trusted me for 6 years. she believed in me. she placed her trust, her love, her faith on me. and i failed her... now she has someone else in her life. i suck terribly that i am missing her so bad. i wanted to tell her that i am deeply sorry for what i have done. and that if she can give me another chance, i will be the happiest man on earth. good luck with that.
and finally, i failed my GOD. i know God has a lot of plans for me in my life. but then again, i had turned my back against Him. the only ONE who really ever loved me. i failed Him, big time! and i have been telling myself that God is not the one who decided for me, i am the one insisting my own stubbornness. i have been stubborn. i have been insisting on my own wants. not God.
and now, i found myself on this track where my suicidal tendencies are getting strong. before i left my apartment this evening, i am having those thoughts that says, "what if i get hit by a vehicle?". i was crying like a kid along the way. when i reached the church along the road, i am not a catholic by the way, i went inside the church. why? i cried. i sobbed like a drunken man. i poured out my heart and asked God why? but then again, i know the "why?" questions will not be answered.
i have been depressed these few years now, and i am suffering because of what i have done. i know nobody's to be blame but me. but this is not a blaming game. this is not what i have in mind.
i accidentally listened to a song by Hillsong entitled, STILL. it said, "i will be still and know you are God...". it caught my attention, i have played it again and again. i cried while listening to it, let me share the full lyrics to you. it is a short song, but powerful one.
STILL
hide me now
under Your wings
cover me
within Your mighty hand
when the oceans rise and thunders roar
i will soar with you above the storm
Father You are King over the flood
i will be still and know You are God
find rest my soul
in Christ alone
know His power
in quietness and trust
it brought me to my knees yes, but at the same time, it made say "be still my soul and know that God is above EVERYTHING.". yes, God is King over the flood. i may have been suffering, but then, God never really left me alone. i was just ignoring Him. and for now, i will put my trust to the One who knows me better.
Friday, February 13, 2009
shadow
i woke up one day,
you were never there
by my side.
i tried grasping
the reasons of your
disappearance.
i have been empty
from that day on,
empty and shallow.
my desperation grew,
my depression deepened,
my sorrow darkened.
you were gone.
and i am left alone,
blame me please...
my heart is drying up,
drowning from tears,
i am missing you.
you were never there
by my side.
i tried grasping
the reasons of your
disappearance.
i have been empty
from that day on,
empty and shallow.
my desperation grew,
my depression deepened,
my sorrow darkened.
you were gone.
and i am left alone,
blame me please...
my heart is drying up,
drowning from tears,
i am missing you.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
i have a friend who forwarded a link for this movie. it may not be that much, but it's action packed! the movie is after all, Transformers 2. WOW!
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi2386166553/
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi2386166553/
Monday, February 9, 2009
between depression and desperation
to those who will be reading this note, i won't say "my apologies". but i may ask for your understanding and please, just read as it is.
the reason i am writing is to express what goes on inside me. i am going thru a depressive stage and guilt-fed conscience right now. i don't know why, i keep on repenting but this guilt just won't go away. been bothered since 2001. it just grew and grew, darker and darker. i don't know if this feeling just won't go or i am just harboring it. i, am looking for something deeper and i can't find it. i know people says that i can only find it with God. damn, i know that. i have been a Christian almost all my life. i led the worship team before, i read the bible before, i have an existing relationship with God. but right now, that is in question. people say that it only takes one step back to God. i know that! i ain't stupid!
i thought i have already outgrew my depression, guilt, sorrow, anger and all those negative emotions. and please, don't say that i am an "emo". that is below the belt. i ain't some guy who would slash my wrist and then cry out for being so $$@!@. my negative emotions, at least, keeps me human. but then again, after some time, it does makes me question my existence. am i some dumb guy being experimented by God? then again, i know the answer is no. i have been a musician for some time now, and if i am gonna express myself thru music, it'll be a dark, heavy goth-rock music. yeah, goth music.
i don't know if this negativity has been caused by my previous relationship for 6 years that i just ruined, or just because i ruined everything. i just hope that writing on these notes/blogs help alleviate my current state. cause if not, my poems about death and dying might continue. i don't want to loose my hope. because loosing hope is as good as dying.
i just really, really hope that i can find the answer/s soon.
the reason i am writing is to express what goes on inside me. i am going thru a depressive stage and guilt-fed conscience right now. i don't know why, i keep on repenting but this guilt just won't go away. been bothered since 2001. it just grew and grew, darker and darker. i don't know if this feeling just won't go or i am just harboring it. i, am looking for something deeper and i can't find it. i know people says that i can only find it with God. damn, i know that. i have been a Christian almost all my life. i led the worship team before, i read the bible before, i have an existing relationship with God. but right now, that is in question. people say that it only takes one step back to God. i know that! i ain't stupid!
i thought i have already outgrew my depression, guilt, sorrow, anger and all those negative emotions. and please, don't say that i am an "emo". that is below the belt. i ain't some guy who would slash my wrist and then cry out for being so $$@!@. my negative emotions, at least, keeps me human. but then again, after some time, it does makes me question my existence. am i some dumb guy being experimented by God? then again, i know the answer is no. i have been a musician for some time now, and if i am gonna express myself thru music, it'll be a dark, heavy goth-rock music. yeah, goth music.
i don't know if this negativity has been caused by my previous relationship for 6 years that i just ruined, or just because i ruined everything. i just hope that writing on these notes/blogs help alleviate my current state. cause if not, my poems about death and dying might continue. i don't want to loose my hope. because loosing hope is as good as dying.
i just really, really hope that i can find the answer/s soon.
Friday, February 6, 2009
breaking records...
i have been labeled as a womanizer. i have two wonderful kids to two different women. i know, people tells me that why have i done what i have done. the answer, "i know it's stupid, but at that time, i am stupid". i love my kids. and now, i am trying to move forward, to move with my life, with what i have, with who i am with. and right now, i don't have someone. i broke the hearts, and lives of two different women. actually, to be honest, 4 women. let us leave the 4th one in peace, she deserves better. the 1st one, the love of my life, i broke her heart last 2007. i don't understand why. so don't ask why. she is one of the most fascinating woman i have met. though we have not seen each other, she says that she already saw me, we had this deep knowledge about each other, we understand each other, we communicate through voice calls and text messages while she was in the Philippines. now, she's in the UK. i really hated what happened.
and then, i added two women who's not supposed to be involved but got to anyways. i got them so involved that now, i have these two little angels with them. by the way, my kids are so fantastic. my HUNK is 8 months old and my PRINCESS is 4 months old (it's not their names by the way). i have my LUKAS EMMANUEL and MIKAELA EUNICE. beautiful kids. of course, they have beautiful moms who takes care of them. i was just hoping that they grow up not like the way i did. and hopefully, they get to see and meet and acknowledge each other. that they're siblings from 2 different moms and one "humbled" father. why humbled? because i know, i have been so stupid but GOD gave them to me.
with me, are my darkest secrets that very few people know about. i have my own demons lurking around me. i have kept them as deep as i can. and the reason i have entitled this journal as "BREAKING RECORDS" is, i have my own "track record". which is not a good one. like i have mentioned, i have been tagged as womanizer. well, we all have our own foolishness and failures. people have seen and heard of my bad records. but then, they don't know or knew who i really am. my aunt, has said that i am a deep person. i don't know about that but i feel so shallow. and some people also told me that i am a deep thinker. well, for me i am deep sleeper. hehehe... but right now, i am not trying to break my record and show the people around me that i have changed or what. i don't want them to see that i have "straightened" up. but i want to see the change in me. i wanted to know, that i have changed. i want to do it because i need to. because i am not the man i used to be. i failed, again and again. and all i want to do now, is beg the mercy of my Lord Jesus. right now, i am deeply troubled and in depression. been struggling for almost 10 years now, i want to rest. i want to be relieved. i wanted death. but death doesn't want me yet.
i wanted to again, feel God's love in me. not that i don't feel that. i am so grateful that God has let me be all these years, He just stayed near me. He just let me "play" on the devil's playground. He never left. like one of the worship songs i heard, "You never let me go, through it all...". and in return, i say to my God, "Lord, i want to come back, come home to the heart of worship... i want to rest in Your arms again. i wanted to lay down and be safe in Your arms... i want to be changed, be the man that is near Your heart also, like King David...". that is my prayer. that is my goal.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Depression
last week, is one of the "funniest" weeks, it seems. i was so depressed which started some months ago. the effect is, i got flu. it may be safe to say that my temperature that time was around 40°. why? i am so delusioning that time, seeing things that are not there, talking to myself or someone else aside from my brother. the effects were so nasty. and it is also the first time, since i got into Dell that i had to be absent from work for two (2) days! good thing is, i secured a medical certificate to justify my absence. then, i went to my son's mom. i spent a day there, spent time with my kid. was still dizzy and still having headaches. i was so confused and so "out of state" that time, whew!
i, before that week, already know that i am going thru some depressive stage... again. it happened last 2003 if i'm not mistaken. i thought i am already passed that depression, but i guess i'm back. i know i have the seasonal affective disorder. and why do i know it? i don't like christmas. and i don't celebrate my birthday. as i remembered, someone promised to help me to get out of this stage, but unfortunately, it never happened. maybe never will.
and what am i doing to at least relieve me of my depression? well, my work does help. not much, but it does. and by the way, I AM NOT bragging about my depression. i know what is happening to me, i know what caused it. and i don't have the suicidal tendencies yet, and i am praying never to have that. but it comes once in a while. but my work also triggers my depression. how? long story.
i am really looking for help. i may not show it, but i wanted help. here in the Philippines, depression is something common but not recognized easily due to a lot of things. and before i forgot, i also thought that people with depression should just look ahed of what's instore for them and they should be happy. but then again, i am wrong. i now see, and now learning what it is and what it is not. still a long road to walk on, a long journey. hopefully, i fully recover.
please, pray for me.
i, before that week, already know that i am going thru some depressive stage... again. it happened last 2003 if i'm not mistaken. i thought i am already passed that depression, but i guess i'm back. i know i have the seasonal affective disorder. and why do i know it? i don't like christmas. and i don't celebrate my birthday. as i remembered, someone promised to help me to get out of this stage, but unfortunately, it never happened. maybe never will.
and what am i doing to at least relieve me of my depression? well, my work does help. not much, but it does. and by the way, I AM NOT bragging about my depression. i know what is happening to me, i know what caused it. and i don't have the suicidal tendencies yet, and i am praying never to have that. but it comes once in a while. but my work also triggers my depression. how? long story.
i am really looking for help. i may not show it, but i wanted help. here in the Philippines, depression is something common but not recognized easily due to a lot of things. and before i forgot, i also thought that people with depression should just look ahed of what's instore for them and they should be happy. but then again, i am wrong. i now see, and now learning what it is and what it is not. still a long road to walk on, a long journey. hopefully, i fully recover.
please, pray for me.
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