best years [sanctuary of the soul]

i was once a child,

who hated being a kid,

my formative years,

a time to mold my hate,

ire, anger, sorrow and

darkness.

i may not be evil,

but these clouds they

surround me,

people say i'm dangerous.

they'll never understand,

how a man lives

with a dark past that haunts him.

from the dark sides,

an angel fallen from heaven

now lurks in the dark

and sings a cold ballad.

i am now your nightmare.

© 2007, [soulprojekt]

Suppressed [proverbs from the ashes]

i stood by from the grave,
when people looked at me with
disgust and regret,
i stared at the moon,
and never cared about them.

love they say conquers all,
then why have i been left alone
in this world where honor
and pride is paid by death.

you tend to bug me and
try to squeeze my deep thoughts,
who the hell you think you are?
you're just a piece of shit,
in this world full of crap!

why befriend a fallen angel,
when at the end you'll betray him?
why give your sympathy,
when you're too pathetic
to be someone you're not!

grace my good Lord,
is at my side,
but death holds now
my half naked body....

FORGIVE ME!!!


© 2007, [soulprojekt]

a lover's tragedy [to her feelings of regret]

she is a close friend,
she hides her deepest
emotion for her love,
blinded by the feelings,
it caused her pain.

though they had their past,
he has his own present,
and she knows about it,
but can't move on.

stuck on the love she feels,
it raises her to highest highs,
but also brings her to the lowest
part of her dreams
and fantasies.

time is ticking,
she is about to leave,
can she forget and
find someone new?

a question she can answer...
not now.

© 2007, [soulprojekt]

last night, i got the chance to listen once more to Evanescence's My Immortal. i was busy listening to their Open Doors album that has Lithium on it, i nearly forgot this album. i randomly selected a song, then it happened to be My Immortal [the version that is just the piano playing], when the 1st two lines got my attention, "i'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears...". i said, "what is childish fears?". i looked back at my life, i saw my childhood as not that good. i have a deep history of pain and sorrow and regrets. my family, relatives and friends were a tragedy. my relationships with women (past girlfriends that is), made me think again and again about my worth. not that i am not worthy of them but why can't they accept me as i am? they're trying to change the man that i am. why? i don't know. maybe i am failure in their eyes. but, i won't change just because they want me to, i will change because i needed to. and if they can't accept me as who i am, then sorry, i will not do that to please you. but i have to admit that it hurts and makes me ask questions about myself. if only they have seen the good side of me, maybe, just maybe, things might have had a different direction.

lunar eclipse [my ode to a butterfly]

never did i wanted

to keep you from breathing,

but the choices you made

consequences of your fault.

have i wanted you dead?

NEVER!

but have you really been

so happy seeing me alive?

i asked you why?
you explained your side,

was it important for me?

no.

because you have left quickly

and without a trace.

you ran away in the middle of the night.

have i been so rough on you?
haven't you forgotten your past?
was it really i that you loved?

or was i a pigment of your imagination?

now i asked you,

fly away from me,

i never wanted to see you again.

© 2007, [soulprojekt]